It was one of those mornings after a not-so-great night. My 4-yr old son was lying on the floor, throwing a toddler-tantrum over the wearing/not-wearing of shoes, while my 6-yr old daughter, ever the peace-maker, was singing at the top of her longs to ‘lighten the mood’ (I assume…)
I, however, turned my absolute overwhelm into mom rage and found myself yelling at my two tiny humans to ‘get the hell off the floor, out of the house & into the bakfiets – or else’, leading to frightful wide eyes and then a waterfall of big tears.
This was one definitely one of my biggest ‘Worst Parent Award-moments’ ♀️. And after I’d calmed them down enough to get them into the bakfiets, dropped them off at school and cycled back to the house, I couldn’t think straight for the guilt & self-loathing.
Professional ‘self care’ over personal self care
I got myself onto my yoga math for my pre-coaching yoga, and just into my 3rd DownDog I realised I was making a huge mistake. Here I was, going through a Kundalini Yoga session to align & center, preparing myself to meet my clients, while I met my children and husband every morning without anything like that. I just rolled out of bed when the alarm went of (on good days) or when one of my kids started screaming for attention (not so good days) and I needed to be ON, immediately.
As an introvert who’s also sensitive to sound & energy, this basically meant I started every day with a nervous system on high alert, already wind tight with anxiety and a shielded, protected heart – which, I can tell you now, is really an unbelievably un-help state when you’re dealing with small children
Life Changer
Soooooo. The insight I had on my math that day turned out to be life-changing.
I knew I needed to carve out time to get centred and aligned befòre starting my day as a parent, not after. And eventhough I don’t like getting out of bed early, and I also don’t like to go to bed before everyone else, I changed my routine. I started going to sleep earlier (10 pm) to be able to wake up at 6(-ish) and get in a morning meditation before the kids woke up.
Twenty minutes did the trick. And it changed everything for me.
For a person who has helpful as a core quality, it’s really important to balance giving with being able to receive. Your modest brother should learn to talk in a sincere way about his talents.
❌ overwhelm & anxiety
❌ stressed out nervous system
❌ mom-rage
gradually fell away, and I started to feel
✨ calmer
✨ in control
✨ happier
So that’s that. I never looked back. Not to say that you can’t do things differently, but honestly: I completely, 100% recommend meditation for everyone dealing with people, and especially those of us dealing with kids.
And if you need to change routines. Do it. It’s worth it.
So help you get going, I recorded my go-to morning meditation and it’s now available for free on Insight Timer.
Give it a try & let me know if it works for you!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rosalie Puiman is the founder of The Sovereign Leader and the author of The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution. She works with executives and founding teams to bring forth effective, impactful and purpose-driven success.